Fail to answer a discussion question, forget the page you were supposed to read last night, or miss the lesson from last week? No worries. Your small group will forgive you without a second thought. Lead a hypocritical life, no matter how well you cover it up, and your small group won’t forgive you as easily. That’s why every small group eventually stops listening to what a leader says and watches what a leader does, because that’s what determines whether real leadership development takes place.
It is no surprise the truth many Christian small group leadership classes ignore is that the leader’s credibility is the curriculum and nothing compares to the leader’s character.
Competency is key. Character Is Foundational.
It is easy to assume that basic competency, fine-tuning skills and sharpening of skills are all key for good small group leadership, but people lead best from character first. Paul told Timothy to “set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). He didn’t address teaching practices or lesson preparation here. These are character categories, not competency.
A strong leader with questionable character would eventually damage the group, while a leader with strong character but less polished skill would make the group a better one, because people are much more likely to overlook a lack of competency than a disconnect between what a leader says and what a leader does.
What are the four character signs of a successful Small Group Leader?
Humility before authority. A good leader always humbles themselves before God and others. A leader who will never admit his or her own wrongness or lack of knowledge doesn’t grow in real power.
Consistency over charisma. You might fall in love with a leader’s charm but return again and again to him or her for consistency. A leader that is inconsistent doesn’t have a stable base of followers. No one sticks with an inconsistent leader no matter how likable they are.
Listening before speaking. James told his readers to “be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19). A leader who talks too much doesn’t only fail to develop other leaders; they teach them to wait on the leader before weighing in and growing themselves.
Integrity under no audience. A leader must hold themselves to the same standard in private as they do in public. Can the leader recall Tuesday’s lesson when confronted with a morally ambiguous decision at work or home on Thursday? Groups intuitively sense integrity even if they cannot define it.
Why character determines the ceiling of the group
A group can never grow beyond the character of the leader. The leader sets the tone of the group and the group learns from the leader by example more than anything on a page. And it’s why Beyond Success’s roundtable model so much is based on a leader’s character, not just his content. A roundtable is a very small room where people form real and meaningful relationships. No group format can connect people faster than a roundtable. People lose faith in leaders who are not authentic with them quickly. Leadership based on humility, consistency, listening and integrity is much more effective.
Build Character before you develop a curriculum.
If you are about to lead or train small group leaders, skip the syllabus and start here:
- Have you demonstrated consistency? Would the people who know you best say your public and private life are in agreement?
- Have you built listening into your leadership? For every question you ask in a session, try asking two more.
- Have you asked for feedback you didn’t want? Real leaders are the ones who are willing to ask to be corrected.
- Have you modeled repair as much as performance? Your group should know you are owning your mistakes and failures as much as you own your successes.
Character is not something leaders acquire before they lead. It’s something every leader does as long as they lead. When leaders form other leaders, they are much more concerned with their own formation than they are about forming their own group.
Leadership Is Loaned, Not Owned
Every leader is a steward of influence for a season and no leader holds that influence for their own enjoyment. Servant leadership is when you remember that the room was never about the leader at the front. It was always about the leaders being established around the table. Lead your small group as someone who stewards something always bigger than themselves, because that’s exactly what you are.
Need to grow as a small group leader of character and competence? Find the Beyond Success experience and other leadership development tools at iequip.org.
